The Pain of Not Being Able to Change Things-2018

I am so amazingly blessed! It has been such a hard year, but Phyllis and the kids and I have been able to lift each other up every day and that makes all the struggles so much easier! What breaks my heart is that all the people in my life that I have lifted up when they needed it the most have not only not been there for me, but have done everything they can to beat me down even more! I am the most positive person I can be, but it is so hard when you can not get people to see and accept who you are now at this point in life and that all you want is to be part of their life and have them accept the people you love as their own family! Phyllis pointed out that I am becoming more negative the other day and I hate that! I don’t want to be that negative person! I am always positive everything will work out, but so many things are beyond my control and I can’t change them! I got what I believe is a message from God today on my way to pick up the kids! With tears running down my cheeks because of one more jab by those I love, I turned on the radio and Phil Collins began to sing, I DONT CARE ANYMORE! I can’t change others, but I can stop letting it weigh me down and keep me from reveling in the amazing life I have!! I want so bad for others to share that joy, but I cannot make them and I just can’t keeping trying! I just don’t care anymore!! God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change!!