THE FINAL CHAPTER-Day 3-I will warn you ahead of time, this chapter is the longest, funniest and saddest of the 3 days! You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you may want to go swimming in the Conasuega River! When I chose the stretch of the Conasuega between Beaverdale and Norton Bridge Road, my book said it was a nice lazy little float with maybe a couple of sand bars at low water! I told Phyllis after the long Emory Creek Hike the day before we needed a break! Everything started rather peacefully with a morning paddle on Lake Conasuega before we packed up camp and headed down the mountain! After picking up some lunch, we drove straight to the take out at Norton’s Bridge and dropped off Phyllis’ car, then drove straight from there to Beaverdale and found the put in easily! For those of you who adventure, you will understand that that is a miracle! We have been totally lost more times than I can count and MapQuest and GPS have often sent us to the middle of nowhere! Anyway, we loaded our gear and put the canoe in with only a little raising of the voice telling Phyllis to get in the boat before the current pulled me off the bank! We started down river and it is a beautiful place! Narrow, but fairly fast moving, we quickly figured out that it was at a relatively low water mark! We hit some fun little ripples, went around some sand bars, and saw a lot of fish, birds and turtles! Our first trial came when we rounded a bend to find a tree across the entire river about a foot above the water! Off to the left was a huge debris pile and, amazingly, we found a path through muck and mire and rocked the boat over a log to emerge on the other side! More of the ordinary beauty, then another bend and a HUGE tree across the river! We could tell where kayakers had portaged around, but our boat and gear would have been tough to hall so we looked and there was about a foot and a half gap under the tree. We jump out of the boat and I sent Phyllis over the tree! By pushing and pulling, we wedge the boat under the tree and pulled it up on an island for a break! We were only a couple of miles from the end of the 8+ mile paddle so we figured that was about all the excitement! Did I mention that since I told Phyllis it was going to be an easy run, she had her phone and I didn’t bother to tie down the ice chest, bags etc. that we had in the boat! Lesson learned as you will see! Now for the fun! After we passed another canoe with a young couple out fishing, we moved on down the river to our take out! About a mile from the take out we faced a major dilemma! On the left side, a grassy sandbar came 2/3s across the river! On the right, a tree came within about 2 feet of the sandbar! The tree had a hump in it that rose about 2 feet above the water and was about as wide as our boat! Option one, get out and pull it across the sandbar. Option two, go around the end of the tree and hope we have space and water to clear the tree and sandbar! Option three, go under the tree by ducking down in the boat! I take full responsibility for making the call, despite the things I said during the event! We lined up with the hump in the tree! I told Phyllis to catch the 2 foot diameter tree with her hands and hold us in place until we could see what was on the other side! This is where things really went wrong FAST! As we hit the tree, one minute Phyllis was on the seat and the next minute she was gone! I caught the tree and apparently yelled something along of the lines of “What the heck are you doing laying in the boat?”(It may have been a little more harsh that that, although I have no recollection of it!) when I noticed Phyllis in the center of the boat on the other side of the tree as I held it from the rear! What I had not taken into account was that the entire river current had been jammed into that 2 by 3 foot hump in that tree! It was doing everything it could to lift me out of the back of the boat! As I held the boat and surveyed the other side, Phyllis crawled back onto her seat! There was another tree about 10 feet down river that was about 2 feet off the water, then open water! Somehow, I had to get around, over or under the tree! My plan was simple! I would drop to the bottom of the boat and Phyllis would paddle hard around the second tree until I could get back up and paddle with her! Sounded so easy! We got ready and I yelled go! I dropped in a ball in the bottom of the boat! The current shot us under with only a small scrape against the top of my head! As I cleared the tree! I pulled myself back up on the seat just in time to see the second tree coming at me! I never even got my paddle up! One minute we were in the boat and the next minute so was A LOT of water! We both got hung on the tree and the boat didn’t! It went under the tree and we were left hanging: LITERALLY! from the tree! The boat went over and all of our stuff went with it! Paddle, ice chest, bags and all! I ran after the water filled boat and dove on the back to stop it! Phyllis was trying to grab stuff and I pushed the boat down river and to the bank! The young couple that we passed earlier had come up and tried to go around the tree, but had to jump out of the boat and drag it around! They did better than us and were back in the boat chasing our stuff! They brought almost everything back and offered to help flip the boat, but I hate asking someone to get in the water for me! After a little yelling and a few false starts, we put all of our stuff on the bank, lifted one end and shoved it in the mud bank, then flipped the canoe from the other end! Amazingly, after a couple tries it flipped with no water in it! My camera had gone in the water along with Phyllis’ phone in our food box! The young couple brought Phyllis’ phone back, but it was soaked! Amazingly as well, my camera was laying in the water in the bottom of the boat! (The memory card was fine and all pictures were recovered! Still waiting on the rice to hopefully save the camera!) Amazingly again, Phyllis’ phone was still working and after a rice bath overnight is 100%! I am an iphone person, however, that Android took a beating and still works! We have destroyed at least 3 iphones in my family! After reloading the boat, we finished off the trip with only one causality known at the time! My Alabama hat, which I rightfully stole from Phyllis 2 years ago, was a fatality, I assume at the bottom of the river! It was never seen again! Loading and finding our way back to the cars is a whole other story, but let’s just say we know the area up and down and all around the Conasuega River much better after driving if for an hour! Phyllis drove right past the ramp and all I saw were the tail lights as she headed down the road! Couldn’t call her, because the phone was out for the moment! Luckily, she came back and we loaded up and headed to Pizza Hut in Chattsworth! (The best Pizza Hut I have ever eaten at by the way!) Now, get out the tissue, because there is a terrible addendum to this story! From the time we flipped, my left pinky had been hurting and I don’t remember doing anything to it at the time! Today, as I was soaking in a bubble bath (Yes real men take bubble baths and especially old men who can feel every ache from the 8 mile hike and the 8 mile paddle!) I twist my wedding band when I am thinking, and as I reached to twist it, all I felt was skin!!! My wedding band was gone and I NEVER take it off! I freaked out! I searched the tub, then the house and cars! I was in tears! A little less than one year ago I put that ring on for the love of my life and I had lost it!!! I was crushed! The only thing I can think is that when I went out of the boat or when I flipped it back over it flew off my finger into the Conasuega! I guess that’s why my pinky hurts! It must have snatched the ring off!! I know it’s only an object, but I was so upset! My sweet Angel went out and bought me a temporary replacement until we can work out the insurance and see what we can do to replace it! We will never let this deter us from our adventures, but I do think we need to learn our lesson and leave all electronics, jewelry etc. before we go out to the woods or the river! (Even if I say it’s going to be an easy trip!!) It was an unbelievable weekend, but apparently Phyllis and I are now married to a river too! I wonder if the Supreme Court ruling made that legal??? I guess that is appropriate since we love spending so much time in the woods and on the river! It was an AMAZING weekend and I cannot wait for many more to come!! By the way, if you are ever on the
Conasuega, my ring is white gold with 2 black rings around each edge! I would love to have it back!!!! Maybe it will have as great a journey as we have!!
2015-09-09