Well, turned out to be another amazingly eventful weekend! Before I begin this rather long post, let me preface it by saying it was all Phyllis’ fault!!! We headed to Lake Conasauga for a weekend of camping and hiking! We love this place more than any we have found so far! The Cohutta Wilderness is so beautiful and peaceful and wild!! Friday night we just set up camp, grilled hot dogs and hamburgers and got some rest! You see, I was on a mission this time out! The Tearbritches trail is the only one that had beaten us so far and I intended for us to conquer it! Last fall, we started it on a cold rainy day with the kids, but as we reached the top of the mountain we realized we just couldn’t make it and turned back (after our experience this weekend, I now concede that Phyllis was right in making me turn around, but don’t tell her that!). So, we got up early and had a solid breakfast of sausage eggs and toast and then moved out! We dropped one car 2 miles from the trailhead at Chestnut Lead where we intended to end our 8 mile hike! On the map, it looked so simple! Up and over Tearbritches to the bottom of the Conasauga River, run parallel to the Conasauga, then hit Chestnut Lead and back to the car!! Simple, right????!!!
Tearbritches starts with a looooooong, nearly one mile straight up trail! At the top, it seems like that one mile was about 10 miles instead! I am not that fond of the uphill climb, but I always have the downhill side to look forward too! Phyllis, on the other hand, prefers the uphill because the downhill puts more strain on the feet! Well, at the top of Tearbritches we began about a 3 mile straight down hike! It was a looooong way down! Every time I hit a small plateau I would call back to Phyllis that I thought we had finally made it to the bottom. After about the fifth time, I stayed for enough ahead so she couldn’t hit me with her walking stick! Luckily, she needed it most of the time to keep from rolling down the mountain! We decided this hill must have its name because of people sliding down on their rear-ends and tearing their pants! On a side note, we met 3 amazing volunteers half way down who volunteer working hard to clear drainage ditches all the way down the mountain and throughout the Cohutta! After talking to them, I am very excited to say we will be joining this group in the near future to help keep all of the Cohutta’s incredible trails open! (And maybe put up a few more signs and blazes! You’ll understand this better a little Later in the story!!). Off again down the mountain and this is why it is all Phyllis’ fault! As we slowly picked out way done the slope, we were chatting and Phyllis said, “You have not written any funny accounts of our adventures lately!!” I replied that it was because I had gotten so good at directions and canoeing that I hand not made any mistakes lately! Mistakes make for funny stories if you don’t kill each other along the way!!
Now, I also told Phyllis that she better be careful or she would jinx us, so everything from this point on is hers to claim because the jinx had just begun!!! At the bottom of Tearbritches, we finally found open, flat land! Hallelujah! A lot of flat land that all looked the same and no trail in site except the one we had just come down! No way were we going back up that one! After exploring for a while, we found signs and the one we wanted said Conasauga River; Yeah! We started downstream which according to every ounce of my being was the way to Chestnut Lead (I now know that, after extensive research after reaching home, that we should have gone up stream! I have examined every map I have and it still looks like we went the right way! It was not to be!) We loved this area! Amazing sights and sounds along the river and great places to camp for the future! We walked and walked and the signs said we were definitely on the Conasauga River Trail! Finally, we reached a split! While having a snack and watching a huge number of butterflies feasting on fresh horse manure, (We eventually found the horse trailer, but since we never see animals on hikes, we never passed the horses!) The only trail that made sense was off to the left and uphill! The signs weren’t specific and were pointed away from where we thought we needed to go, so up we went! And up! And UP! Not as bad as Tearbritches, but still a long way up after nearly 7 miles of hiking! About two thirds of the way up, we met up with a man, his son, and his dog! This is where we were splashed with a VERY cold dose of reality! As we stopped to chat with the man and pet the dog, Phyllis said we are on Chestnut Lead, Aren’t we????! He hesitated and then said, NO! This is Hickory Creek! Phyllis gasped and said “OH, SH**!!” She forgot the boy was there as they left us to head on down while we contemplated death in the middle of the Cohutta Wilderness! He had also said they had parked at the gate because the road was washed out! I knew then where we were because there was only one road washed out anywhere near us!! I did NOT mention this to Phyllis at the time because she looked ready to shove me off the side of the very steep ridge we were on! With little choice, we headed up once again! After reaching the Hickory Creek Trailhead (Hickory, Chestnut?? Isn’t one NUT just as good as another!! In this case, NO!!!) We then walked a couple hundred yards to the gated road!! By then we both knew where we were! We were 6 miles from one car, 8 miles from the other and 6 miles to our camp site!! All 3 were straight up the mountain road!! WAAAAAAAY Up! After 10 miles on the trails, I told Phyllis there was no way we would make it! At this point, I put my hand on my gun out of fear that she would use it to finish me off first!!! We found the horse trailer here so I said worse comes to worse, we crawl in there and sleep until the horses get back! My other idea was a little better! I said let’s walk a couple hundred yards up into the road to the shade and rest awhile! I said we aren’t walking! We are going to get a ride! Now, keep in mind, we are on a dirt road in the middle of nowhere, but I had faith! In 5 minutes, I said I hear someone coming! Phyllis just gave me a dirty look after using a few words that offended my pristine ears and that I cannot type here! (Maybe she didn’t avtyuaslly say them, but her eyes di!) Low and behold, a pickup truck came around the bend! I waved them down and it was 2 brothers and a sister from Murry County just riding the mountains! After a moment, they said they would take us to the top of the mountain so we hopped in the back of the truck! Phyllis even relaxed a little bit and I took my hand off my gun!
Now, I have worked in Gordon County for 30 years, so I understand the country boy fairly well, but I forgot how they love a good mountain road! After he told us that he used to juump the drainage humps in the road when he was younger, we began a WILD ride the 6 miles to the top of the mountain! We didn’t quite jump the bumps, but Phyllis did fly off the bed of the trunk a few times and bounce off her rear-end! She sat very carefully today! It was like a roller coaster and it was a blast! We didn’t die! Along the way, every time we went over another steep rise I kept envisioning our walk up that mountain and my poor body riddled with bullet holes as Phyllis said “YOU WON’T GET US LOST AGAIN!!! Thank GOD for that truck and those country boys from Murry County! When we reached the top of the mountain, they even said they would take us the last mile to my car! YEAH!!! As we pulled up to the car, I hopped out and Phyllis pulled herself carefully over the tailgate of the truck! We said goodbye to our heroes and they drove off into the sunset! No white steed, but a roaring red pickup will do!!
Now, you might think this is the end of the story, but this one gets even stranger! As the truck drove off, we noticed 3 guys on the other side of the road we hadn’t really noticed before! We did notice there were no other cars at the trailhead where we were parked??? Where did these 3 come from! The older among them, turns out it was the father of one, and the other was the son’s friend! They walked up to us and asked politely if were knew our way around this place!! Now having read this story, you might think I would have said no, but of course being very sure of myself even when I am wrong, I said sure! How can we help you? I did move a step away from Phyllis so she wouldn’t be too close to my gun just in case she wanted to relive our experience of the last 7 hours in her mind! Anyway, turns out the man was a lawyer from Calhoun and the son and his friend both were Calhoun Students! Actually, the son graduated last year and is now at the UNIVERSUTY OF ALABAMA! My life was saved a second time when Phyllis heard that because she forgot all about our earlier trials! (At least that’s what I hoped!) ROLL TIDE!!!!
Anyway, I digress! The man said they had walked up the 7 miles of Emory Creek Trail and had no idea how to get back to their car other than walk all the way back down! After telling us where they were parked, I knew the road to their car was closed! Washed out! We contemplated several options and they said the road actually wasn’t completely blocked! I forgave them for being Calhoun Graduates even though I am a Gordon Central Warrior and told them we would take them as far as we could to their car! (They even knew my best friend Jose Gomez and Sean McKenzie and Jamie Angland and I am sure many others from our small town that I also know!) We drove way down the mountain! I won’t say if the road was passible or not (Might have bent a few laws and don’t want anyone coming after me!!!) But I will say we got them to their car after recharging their iPhones and providing some well needed cold water! Rarely do you get to repay karma, God or whatever you want call it the same day someone saves you, but on this day, God’s plan brought us all together at exactly the right times and we all ended up where we needed to be! After picking up Phyllis’ car at our intended point of return, we headed back to Lake Conasauga! After cooking some steaks and vegetables and some roasted corn, we both settled around the fire and stared in a daze at the beautiful flames before drifting off to bed before 10pm! Despite the fact that I had to pull Phyllis out of bed at 10:30 so we could break down camp and the fact that she could barely walk today, she didn’t kill me and we had another amazing weekend! (I still put my gun away just in case she had second thoughts!)
I am so glad I found such an amazing woman to share these adventures with! This one was wild, but also an incredible memory! We never truly argued and though I joke, I never truly worried about her being mad at me! Her trust in me is awesome and even in these experiences where we could be in real danger, she always seems to know we will find our way! She only had a brief moment of real despair as she stood at the Hickory Creek Trailhead and looked up the LOOOOONG uphill road, but she still stuck with me every step of the way! She is my true love and I could never ask for more!
2016-06-11